I am okay, I am okay, I am okay

This is something I had to tell myself a lot today.

I woke up with severe back pain. I couldn't go to work.

Both of those things led to a lot of crying and pain killers.

I got caught up in the moment and felt sorry for myself. I got upset and frustrated about the car accident. How one moment in time could change my life so dramatically.

But I am okay. I have lasting injuries from the accident which with some physio will improve.

I go to see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I have realised that I really need to. Even though I am having more good days and not a lot of bad ones anymore. I am learning to get through the bad days.

It may not seem like much but it's a big thing for me.

I am okay :)

Just a little awkward...

Well mil keeps talking about our wedding.

Little does she know it's in 26 days.

She will be a little upset but this isn't about her.

It's about us and I just need to keep reminding myself of that when I start doubting things.

Having the big wedding will not make me happy. I don't know why I even started planning it in the first place.

That's another thing mil won't be happy about. The $1000 deposit that she paid. Which we will of course be paying back.

But our happiness is the important thing. The fact we will become man & wife is what's important not everybody else's opinions.

I love him :)

Can you feel my heart

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim