busy, bones, cold feet.

Today has been pretty non stop. It was the usual mad rush to get everything (and everybody) ready this morning. Husband went off to work, kids were dropped at school and I am enrolled in a Tafe course :)

Stopped off at home to have a juice then went shopping with sil for a new wallet.

Came home, fed the cat, complained to the cat food company, ate some popcorn and now I'm in bed watching Bones until the kids get home.

Gluten free lasagne for dinner :)

Juicing on the go :)

weight loss

Okay so I haven't lost weight in a little while but I haven't put any on either which is good! 

I want to lose 4.4kg by the end of July. Which I think is achievable. Ultimately I would like to lose 20kg by the end of the year. 

But let's just start with the 4.4kg first.

Now I've already lost 12.3kg since October last year. I am now under 100kg (just) lol

Current weight 99.4kg

Mini goal 95kg

Current BMI 36.07

Start weight 111.7kg

Start BMI 40.54

30 day experiment

So I have decided to eat gluten free. I'm also going to juice for 30 days. Maybe not 3 meals a day but definitely at least 2.

I'm going to do my best to quit smoking, get all my tests done and try and start a regular exercise plan.

With all the wedding planning and stress from work I've really been neglecting my health. Now is the time to get it back on track.

I've found some great gluten free snacks and recipes. Today is day 2 and things are going well :)

  

it's uh... been a while

So a few things have happened since I last blogged.

I got married & resigned from my job :)

I suppose they're the biggest things that have happened. There have been a few little things but nothing of great importance. 

Will update more on this later but for now here's some wedding pics :)

I am okay, I am okay, I am okay

This is something I had to tell myself a lot today.

I woke up with severe back pain. I couldn't go to work.

Both of those things led to a lot of crying and pain killers.

I got caught up in the moment and felt sorry for myself. I got upset and frustrated about the car accident. How one moment in time could change my life so dramatically.

But I am okay. I have lasting injuries from the accident which with some physio will improve.

I go to see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I have realised that I really need to. Even though I am having more good days and not a lot of bad ones anymore. I am learning to get through the bad days.

It may not seem like much but it's a big thing for me.

I am okay :)

Just a little awkward...

Well mil keeps talking about our wedding.

Little does she know it's in 26 days.

She will be a little upset but this isn't about her.

It's about us and I just need to keep reminding myself of that when I start doubting things.

Having the big wedding will not make me happy. I don't know why I even started planning it in the first place.

That's another thing mil won't be happy about. The $1000 deposit that she paid. Which we will of course be paying back.

But our happiness is the important thing. The fact we will become man & wife is what's important not everybody else's opinions.

I love him :)

Can you feel my heart

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim